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 Monday, May 21 2012 @ 07:39 AM GMT-5
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Ricktionary - Stalkeresque

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1. Having stalker qualities.

 
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401-TAX??

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Here's a thought...  Since there is no way around taxes and everyone just feels the need to bitch at how much of their pay goes towards taxes then why not let the citizens choose where their tax money goes.  Just like how you choose where to invest your 401-K funds; you get to choose from a predetermined list of government funds like defense, education, research, paying down the national debt, civil services, etc. and know exactly where and how much of your taxes are going.  This will also put the onus on the citizens to decide what is more important to them and if their homes get robbed or their kids are getting a shotty education because they decided to put all of their funds towards paying down the national debt or research then oh well for them.
 
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Real Letter from CEO to His Employees

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To All My Valued Employees,

There have been some rumblings around the office about the future of this company, and more specifically, your job. As you know, the economy has changed for the worse and presents many challenges. However, the good news is this: The economy doesn't pose a threat to your job.

What does threaten your job however, is the changing political landscape in this country. Of course, as your employer, I am forbidden to tell you whom to vote for -- it is against the law to discriminate based on political affiliation, Race, creed, religion, etc.

Please vote who you think will serve your Interests the best. However, let me tell you some little tidbits of fact which might help you decide what is in your best interest. First, while it is easy to spew rhetoric that casts employers against employees, you have to understand that for every business owner there is a back story.

This back story is often neglected and overshadowed by what you see and hear. Sure, you see me park my Mercedes outside. You've seen my big home at last years Christmas party. I'm sure all these flashy icons of luxury conjure up some idealized thoughts about my life. However, what you don't see is the back story.
 
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R.I.P. Common Sense

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Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; And maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies, don't spend more than you can earn and adults, not children, are in charge. His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, do nothing...
 
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World Economic Observation: Borrow money and prevent conflict?

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If I owed you a few billion dollars you would probably want to make sure we were on speaking terms right? So if the US is in debt to a few of the larger nations they wouldn't really want to cause a conflict with us correct? If you owe Russia a few billion, China a few billion, the UK a few billion and China is like "We're going to kick their asses and get our money back!" so Russia is like "Whoa there buddy... you do that and we got problems. They owe us a butt load of money too so you better leave them alone..." Seems like it should keep the peace right?

 
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